This video is based on a viewer question from Rena. It’s a long question that I’ve shortened. Here’s the gist: Rena feels she can’t do the things she used to do because of her bipolar illness. Essentially, she feels held back because she fears going hard the way she usually does will trigger a manic episode.
Here are timestamps for the video if you want to skip the question and go to my answer.
0:31 Start of question
3:49 Start of my answer
This question brings out some important points when it comes to managing your ambitions and also addresses a fear that's unique to an illness that changes your perception and make you lose touch with reality.
Some people grapple with the idea that the mania allowed you to do things that you otherwise wouldn’t be able to do because of the super energy and amped up outlook you have that lets you achieve all these things. Once you crash and burn, you’re left thinking about what happened and the kind of person you became when you were on fire and rising to the top.
You may ask yourself, what that really you or was it a fake you, that you need to say goodbye to because it's a dangerous state to be in?
Severe mania can be so destructive and disruptive that it can be devastating for people when they come down from it. First of all because there's often a big mess to clean up of things did or neglected while you were manic. But secondly if you get to the point of being delusional, it’s devastating to feel like you lost your mind and you couldn’t control your thoughts.
My thoughts on this:
You can't produce mania simply by being ambitious. You can have grand ambitions as part of your baseline personality.
Mania is an emotional state that increases your energy and impairs your judgment and impulse control. And that's the state of mind that takes your baseline ambitions and grows it to a grandiose and unrealistic level.
As for returning to media work, having bipolar disorder should not mean you can't pursue your interests. But it does mean you have to set limits on how much you work and you have to prioritize your self-care. With bipolar disorder it’s important to stay on your treatment regimen and make sure you have good sleep hygiene so that you can get consistent sleep.
These limitations may make it harder to do certain types of work. For example, it would not be in your best interest to work in a job that required you to be awake for 24 to 36 hours at a time. Also you wouldn’t want to take a job that would not allow you to be able to take medication or see your doctor because you have to travel out of the country for six months at a time. These are just examples of how your disorder create some limitations on the kind of work you do.
So if the only way that you can work in media is to do you things that make you not sleep for days, not take your medication, not follow up with your doctor’s appointments and not eat healthy, then I’d say that’s not the best kind of work for you.
Building a business is demanding, but maybe it doesn’t require you to fry your brain to be successful. The brain frying comes from the shortcuts you take to get where you want to go - maybe faster than you need to go. If you step it back to accommodate your need for self-care, then maybe the outcome is that you grow slower. But slow growth is still growth.
Also being excited about your work and having lots of ideas doesn’t mean you're manic or will become manic because you're just so excited. The over-the-top grandiose ideas come from the mania that descends upon you and takes what you're already doing or thinking to another level.
If you're afraid that will happen, the workaround to that is to stay in treatment and also be aware of your early signs that you're becoming manic.
Here’s a video on the manic prodrome where I talk about recognizing early signs of mania so that you and your doctor can make an intervention to keep it from escalating and becoming mania.
Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe.
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
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