Hi I’m Mike. I know that it might be easy to think that being a jerk to someone is just something that jerks do. But I don’t think that I am a jerk. I guess that most jerks don’t think they are until they are told they are. Let’s start at the start. I like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders and understand a lot about the world. That’s teenager for “in reality I don’t know much.” But I get by. I have this friend, Jeff, we’ve been friends since grade school. For as long as I can remember, Jeff has always been a bit strange. Not collecting ear wax strange, but he’s always jittery, always scared, and doesn’t look like he gets much sleep. One day, at school, it started to get worse. He looked like he had drunk a million coffees and smelled like he hadn’t showed in almost a million years.
I asked him what was wrong, but he said “nothing,” and tried to act normal. Which for him was pretty strange anyway. I decided not to push the matter, if he wanted to tell me, he could in his own time.
Lunch came around and Jeff sat with me as usual. He wasn’t eating. Instead just pushing a cold meatball around his plate. He looked at me and said, “Do you believe in ghosts?” I almost snorted milk out of my nose. “Of course not. Why?” I could see him embarrassingly shift around in his seat. “No reason,” he said softly.
He didn’t say anything more, but I could see that something was on his mind.
Later, after school, I was waiting for him so we could walk home together. We live on the same street, but he was a few houses down from me. I waited forever and saw him walking away from the school. Without me. I rushed towards him, “What the heck, Jeff? Why’d you ditch me? You’re acting weird today. Weirder than usual.” I could tell that my words hurt him. But I was too annoyed to stop. “What is it?” I yelled.
“I have a ghost in my room, and I can’t sleep.” He said, almost bursting into tears.
“Yeah, right,” I laughed, “You don’t have to make things up to get attention.”
I knew I had crossed the line. Jeff looked at me and ran away from me as fast as he could. I feel like I hit peak jerk. Not knowing what to do, I walked home alone.
I told my mother what had happened and how crazy Jeff was acting. My mother looked sad. She told me that Jeff’s uncle who had been living with them died recently. That Jeff and he were really close. My heart sank into my stomach. Not only was my friend in pain, but I had mocked him.
I knew I had to put things right.
I ran over to Jeff’s house as fast as I could. I knocked on his door, I could see him come to the door but when he looked through the window he turned and walked away. I didn’t stop though, “Jeff,” I said through the door. “Man, I was a jerk. I’m sorry. Please. I want to talk.”
Jeff finally came back to the door after what seemed like hours. He opened it slowly. I asked if I could come in. I sat down with him and told him I was sorry about his uncle. He opened up and told me how much it hurt him and how before he died Jeff was a rude to him. He regretted it because the last thing he said to his uncle was negative and now Jeff thought he might be haunting him.
I offered to stay with Jeff that night and make sure that there was nothing there. He looked relieved.
And you know what? Nothing happened. But Jeff and I talked for a long time and he finally got all the things he wanted to say to his uncle out. And slept soundly for the rest of the night and boy did he need it.
I don’t know if there was a ghost, I don’t know if ghosts are real, but that’s not what changed my life. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in your feelings and your needs. I didn’t see that my friend was hurting because I was too wrapped up in how he was making me feel.
Sometimes, you need to be that person that puts themselves out for a friend because you honestly never know what they might be going through. That can be said for anyone. If someone says something mean to you, it could be because they are in pain and need someone to ask. Or they could be a jerk, those also exist.
The lesson I learned though is that you have to try to make to help. Where you can. Because you never know when the shoe will be on the other foot and you’ll be the one that needs a caring heart and listening ear.
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